


Drown in You

by The_Silver_Hearted



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: M/M, Romance, Sickness, implied suicide, spy watches the person he loves die in front of him so I think that gets it's own tag, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:25:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2778137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Silver_Hearted/pseuds/The_Silver_Hearted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a boy who talked so much, RED thought they knew everything about Scout. Spy found out the hard way they didn't, and that the downfall can happen slowly. (Warnings for major character death, and mentions of suicide)</p><p> </p><p>Just a little thing I wrote while I was really sick, I don't know where the idea came from, but I knew I had to write it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drown in You

**Author's Note:**

> ((Hey! Just for who ever didn't read the tags, this does have major character death, and it's pretty graphic. Also, there is implied/hinted at suicide, so please, read carefully.  
> Well, otherwise, please enjoy the story!))

He never saw it coming, but then again, no one else on the team did. Scout was always so healthy, the youngest of the group. He was always drinking those horrid energy drinks, and he never shut his mouth. RED was sure they knew everything about the boy because of this. They knew of his ma’ and all of his brothers, they knew his love of baseball and that his tooth was knocked out in a fight in third grade.

So when his downfall came, Spy and the rest of the team felt practically blind.

Spy may have treated the boy unkind and with little patience sometimes, but this world, and the administrator, and RED and Blue, none of them knew just how much the RED spy cared for the runner. When no one looked, he made sure when the boy passed out after a long day, he was in a position he wouldn’t get cramps from. He would cloak himself just to sneak food in front of him when he knew the boy forgot to eat.

The Frenchman could never admit it to himself, but he loved the boy. He felt guilty, he knew he was older than him by more than a decade. The boy lived in the fast lane, and Spy knew he would not want a steady romantic partner for a very long time. True, the boy had a crush on Miss Pauling for a bit, but he got over it fast. Scout loved girls, and Scout hated Spy. So Spy tried to hate him back, and the more he loved him, the more he pretended to dislike him.

But no matter how much Scout would annoy and piss off Spy, he knew he would love that boy until his dying breath, and on this battle field cycle, only God knows when he would take it.

But they day he decided breathing wasn’t necessary was ordinary, and something makes Spy hate it even more for not even bothering to rain.

 

It was yet another battle day, and BLU absolutely destroyed RED within an hour. As Spy dragged himself back into the base, he went over the battle in his head. Why had they lost?

No one wanted to point fingers, but both himself and Scout had been lacking. As a matter of fact, Scout had been failing miserably for the past week, slowly losing his trademark speed. His blows from his baseball bat lacked power, and his Scattergun’s recoil sent him back further than it should have. Medic had tried to talk to him, and give him a check up, but Scout always had some excuse to get out of it, or he would wave his hand and blame it on being homesick. These answers never sat right with any of them, but eventually, even medic gave up, and they decided they would learn in time.

Spy was the only one who couldn’t let it drop, and earlier in the week, he had even cloaked and followed the boy, slipping into his room before he closed the door. The second the door clicked shut, Scout’s entire posture seemed to drop, and he almost dragged himself and collapsed on his bed. He had pushed himself up to rest against the wall, just in time as a coughing fit racked his lithe body, Spy watched in horror as the kid coughed violently into his hand, and after almost a full minute, his body practically crumpled as he dropped fully onto the bed, his eyes sliding shut immediately. 

To Spy’s great relief, he could see the boy’s shallow breathing, and silently left the room, thinking over what he just witnessed.

Spy had quickly went to go see Medic, and tell him of Scout’s obvious sickness. He was relieved when the German doctor agreed to talk to him as soon as he woke up, but his hopes were shattered quickly as Scout got violent next time the man approached him. When Merdic refused to back down and leave him alone, the younger of them had gotten aggressive, telling him to fuck off, and threatening him. Eventually, Medic retreated, leaving Scout to go back to his room.

Here they were, as Spy sat at the crude kitchen table, and he was grateful he sat alone as he thought over the week and the boy. The rest of the team (minus Scout) was in the showers, washing away the day’s grime and blood. He knew he should probably go shower and change himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Suddenly, a shock filled him, and he felt the need to see Scout. He stood up quickly, and practically ran through the hallways to Scout’s room.

He felt his heart stop as he saw a small bit of red and brown in the hallway, just a little before Scout’s door. Spy was by the boy in an instant, and was filled with dread as he noticed fresh, deep red trails dripping from the boy’s mouth. His head was collapsed down onto his chest, sprinkling his shirt with an obvious shade of crimson.

“Scout!” Spy yelled, dropping to his knees and lifting the boy’s head with a gloved hand. He felt the tiniest spark of relief as pale eyelids flicker open, and he noticed just how white the boy’s usually tanned face looked.

“Spy…” The runner gave a weak smile, before coughing, and Spy watched as blood fell from his mouth. 

“Scout, I’m going to take you to the infirmary, and whatever is happening, Medic while fix.” Spy said quickly, trying and failing to keep his voice from shaking. 

“Aw… I never knew… You cared so much.” He said in between coughs. 

“You have no idea…” Spy said as he hooked his hands under the thin frame of the boy, feeling it weighing much less than usual as he began quickly walking.

“Please… Don’t take me… T-to the Doc. I love him, and all…Hell, I love… a-all you guys. But I-I know I’m going out.” Scout said, tripping over his words. “And I don’t want t-to die in t-there… ya know?” He tried to grin up at the masked man holding him, but it only made Spy’s heart squeeze painfully, and he felt dizzy.

“N-non… he can help you.” Spy attempted to explain.

Scout weakly shook his head. “N-naw, man… He c-can’t. I’ve had t-this stupid condition… Cytosis.. F-Fiber or something. The docs back home.. t-told me I could d-do nothing ‘bout it. C-can we go outside?” Scout pleaded in his feeble voice. Spy’s world almost stopped as the boy said the words. He knew, Cystic fibrosis. He knew, he had heard of people dying of it, especially after the second World War. He couldn’t lose him to it, but he had to oblige to the boy’s last request.

Spy took the boy outside, and Scout smiled a puny smile. “Can… You sit me i-in the grass?” Scout asked, and Spy could only nod as he gently bent down and sat him down, quickly sitting beside him so the boy could lean against him.

“Y-you don’t gotta stay.” Scout coughed, looking up into sorrow-filled eyes.

“Non, but I want to.” Spy said, biting his lip as he hear the pain in his own voice

“H-hey, Spy?” Scout said after a few moments of silence. “I-I don’t want our last moments together… to be awkward… but s-somethings you just wanna say b-before.. you kick the bucket.” He laughed feebly, coughing more blood into his hand.

"Anything. Say anything you want, I will always be listening.” Spy said said, hesitating before removing his gloves, and gently combing through the boy’s brown hair.

“I love you. L-like, a lot.” Scout said, turning his head just slightly to look at the older man. “I l-liked you the day I got here a-and you spoke in your prissy a-accent. Eventually, I r-realized one day I loved you.” Scout admitting, smiling sadly a bit. “I just needed to tell you.” Scout shrugged, before going to turn his head back around.

Before he could, though, the hand not in his hair lightly grasped his chin, and a pair of lips touched his own softly. Spy didn’t even have to open his mouth, but he could taste the blood on the boy, and it only made him press Scout tightly to himself. He pulled away after a moment, and looked into grey eyes.

“I love you too. I’ve loved you since the day you opened your mouth and you told the group how ‘awesome’ you were, and I’m in pain every time I see you go back to respawn and I will tell you everything I love about you if you just stay. Please stay, Scout” Spy said quickly, trying to plead with the boy as he looked at him, his hands cupping his face. Scout smiled an honest smile, and leaned forward to press his forehead.

"M-my name is Russell Stewart but everyone... close to me called my Rusty.” he said slowly, bringing a shaking hand up, and Spy clasped it in one of his own, the other still cupping Russell’s face.

"My name is Aldric Michaud, and Russell Stewart I will love you until the day I die.” He replied without hesitation.

"Aldric… I love it. I love you.” Russell said, a soft happiness in his voice, obvious even over the raspiness. “And I’m sorry I’m leaving soon.” He sighed, before pulling back to cough.

Aldric suddenly moved a hand up, and pulled off his mask. Scout’s weakness was the only thing keeping him from gaping as he looked at the man in front of him. Stubble trailed along his jawline, and high cheekbones were accented by short, dark brown hair. “I love you. So much.” Scout said, love clear in his voice as he gave the older a tender smile.

“I love you too, so you can’t leave. You have to stay. You have to let me meet your mother, I have to teach you how to cook. I have to protect you!” Spy choked out, the tears he had been blocking now running down his pale face.

“I k-know. I’m so sorry.” The boy leaned forward, kissing him again. “I… I know I can’t do this for much l-longer, and we b-both know respawn won’t c-catch me. Can… you talk to me?”

Spy nodded quickly. “Anything you want,” he said as he pulled out his handkerchief, gently wiping the boy’s face clear.

“Tell me about the stars, and all the cool pictures.” Scout asked, looking up. The Frenchman swallowed the lump in his throat, and he gently pulled the boy back to their original position, to the looked out over the horizon and Aldric could support his body.

“To start out, that is the North Star.” he pointed with his left hand, as the other held the thin body to his own. Aldric had to stifle a sob, feeling the boy’s head weekly drop on his shoulder. “It shines the brightest, and it has always reminded me of you. The North Star is said to lead people home.”

He said, failing at holding back the grief and insecurity in his voice. “D-do I... guide you home?” Russell asked quietly.

"You are my home.” Spy said, knowing that would be the truest thing he would ever say in his lifetime. “And that constellation is Orion…” Aldric continued talking, despite moments later he could feel any strength left in the boy disappeared. He talked for hours, still supporting Russell against his side. He eventually ran out of stars and constellations, and eventually moved to talking about all the things he was going to do for and with Scout.

He talked about them leaving the battlefield, and finding a home together. He talked about meeting Scout’s parents, and told him that even if they hated him, he would never let the boy go. He talked until he could see the sun coming over the horizon, and even then, he didn’t stop. His voice was raw by the time the team found them outside, but he talked, even when he could feel their presence.

RED knew what had happened, and Engineer stepped forward to talk. “Spy, will you stand up?” He asked gently.

“Non.” Came the simple reply. “Don’t you know it is rude to interrupt? I was talking Russell about the best dog breeds for us.” He didn’t even turn around.

Eventually, the team tried prying he away from the cold body, but Spy had only yelled and threatened them, trying to reach his knife as he was enveloped in Heavy’s arms. If asked, Aldric couldn’t tell you exactly what happened during that time, but he knew he fought and screamed and cried as they had taken Scout away from him. Eventually, he had no energy left, and he let himself be picked up, limp like a ragdoll.

He sat in the infirmary, staring forward at the body lying on the bed across from him as he heard Medic make a call to the administrator. Spy didn’t even notice his lack of balaclava, he could care about nothing, He was silent, his eyes blank as he watched a van pull up outside of the building, He is eyes didn’t leave the body as men slowly picked it up, and carried it outside, placing it in a casket that rested inside the van. Aldric didn’t know how long he sat there or how many times his teammates tried to talk to him. He did know they were trying to get him to eat, or sleep, or at least move or say something.

Hours later, when the room was devoid of any life except himself, the Frenchman pulled himself off the bed. His legs were almost unreliable, but he still pulled himself forward, finally dropping himself into the respawn room. Scout had just died, but here, you can’t die. You respawn. You could have your head cut off and body mutilated, and after some time, you would appear back here. A bit sick feeling, but alive and healthy nonetheless. So Spy continued to sit, and waited. With no windows in his view, he could only assume how long had passed, before he heard a voice over the intercom. 

“Spy, you have options.” A female voice said, and he recognized it as the administrator, and he almost felt surprise at the emotion in her voice.

"...And what are these options?” He croaked out.

A week had passed since the disaster, and no one had seen hide nor hair of Spy since. There had been a constant cease fire, and no wars had happened. RED was restless, and continued to ask the administrator where Spy had gone. They never got an answer, just silence.

Engineer sighed as he walked into the respawn room, deciding messing with his machines would help him. No person had stepped into the respawn since the last battle, so it confused the Texan as he saw a little envelope resting on top of one of his prototypes. He walked over, and noticed the cursive on the front, simply spelling the word, “RED”.

Engineer had shot back to the others, yelling about an emergency, and the remaining six mercenaries quickly gathered around him. “It’s Spy’s.” He breathed out, and the following silence was almost deafening. While he had their attention, he opened the envelope, and began reading the smooth handwriting.

“‘Dear RED-

I am sorry to say I have left, but by the time you find this, you have probably already guessed. I don’t have much time before the Administrator comes to pick me up, so this will be short.

She is taking me to the graveyard Russell was buried in. Medic, I have stolen a hypodermic needle, a numbing agent, and a scalpel. I am sorry for taking this, but I know you would not have given it to me if I had asked. In my will, I’ve given all of my money and belongings to Russell’s mother, and I’ve also requested to be buried next to him.

I am also sorry to leave you all like this, but I cannot have you stop me. Take care of yourselves, I don’t want to see you on the other side anytime soon.

Sincerely,

Spy’.”

No one breathed as they all took in the information. “He’s going to kill himself next to Scout.” Heavy stated, and despite them all knowing this, is still was painful to hear.

 

‘P.S.- Let anyone who cares know that I loved Russell, also known as Scout, more than anything in this world. And I swear, next lifetime I will love him until he is drowning in my love, and I, in his. This is why I ask you to forgive me, and what I am about to do.'


End file.
